Three Poems by Holly Painter

 

Photo Credit: Agkistrodon Piscivorus

Photo Credit: Piscivorus Pictures

.SURFIN’ SAFARI

 

Just try it once, okay?
All the cool kids are doing it
We’re the big game hunters of the sea

We’re out there at dawn because we’re that hardcore
Watching hotties saunter by in bikinis
I’m getting an erection, but I’ll call it my car
Load up those boards and sing

Are you watching, girl?
We’re surfing

There are some really impressive surfers
At Huntington, Malibu, and Rincon
We’ll be hunting for waves in the islands this year
You can come, but, I mean, only if you want to

I know the names of some foreign places
If there’s surfing there
Like Laguna, Cerro Azul, Dohini, Peru
Surfing’s really taking off as a sport
It feels good to be part of something bigger than myself

Are you watching, girl?
We’re surfing

Just try it once, okay?
All the cool kids are doing it
We’re the big game hunters of the sea

 

 

409

 

My car’s like a woman
And she’s unbelievably sexy

I’ve been collecting coins
Since the day I was born
Saving up to buy a my own 409
And not a used one either
This one’s from the dealership

Other cars are much slower
They can’t get near my car
When I take her to the track, I’m especially proud
Because my 409 wins all the races
And I get to tell the other lads about her specs

Go faster, you equine beauty!
Faster, faster, 409!
Faster, 409!
Faster, faster, 409!
Faster, 409!

Other cars are much slower
They can’t get near my car

 

 

LITTLE DEUCE COUPE

 

Hey babe, I’m being serious, so hear me out
I drive the fastest car in the tri-county area
When I’m stopped at a light, no one wants to race me
Because this thing’s like a rocket, but horizontal

She’s my mid-sized car
And she’s faster than you’d think

She’s just your standard 1932 Ford
But she flies by a Thunderbird so fast it appears stationary
I’ve done a lot of work to her body, got her weight down
So now she reaches a top speed of 140 mph

She’s my mid-sized car
And she’s faster than you’d think

She has a ceramic clutch for increased friction
And an engine that’s soft until I tell it to roar
And if you still don’t believe my car’s better than yours
Well then, let’s race, winner take both cars

She’s my mid-sized car
And she’s faster than you’d think

Holly Painter lives and writes in Singapore with her wife. These poems are from “My Pet Sounds Off,” an English-to-English translation project of the Beach Boys’ top 40 hits. Holly also writes love poetry for besotted folks around the world at adoptapoet.wordpress.com.

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